


Peanut Butter And Midnight?

by Cabbagiez



Category: Sam & Max
Genre: Canon-Typical Behavior, Conversations about peanut butter, Domestic Fluff, How Do I Tag, M/M, Silly, it's. they're chillin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21738019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cabbagiez/pseuds/Cabbagiez
Summary: Late at night, Sam and Max just have the most ridiculous of conversations, even by their standards.
Relationships: Max/Sam (Sam & Max)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41





	Peanut Butter And Midnight?

“Hey, Sam?” the white lagomorph asked, looking up at his canine companion.

“What is it, my strange yet fascinating friend?” Sam replied, looking away from the file that had captured his interest. 

“What the hell is peanut butter?” 

Sam was struck into silence, visibly confused. “Well… Max, peanut butter is a processed paste made of peanuts and binding agents-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know  _ that, _ but why’s it exist?” Max hopped onto Sam’s desk, pulling a jar of the stuff from…  _ somewhere. _ He opened the jar, starting to eat it with his fingers.

“Would you rather it didn’t?”

“I’m not sayin’ that, Sam, I’m just questioning.” Max kept eating his peanut butter, smiling at the other after a short pause. 

“Well, here’s a question for you then: What the hell is  _ jam? _ ”

“That’s easy, Sam! Jam’s a bunch of fruit all mashed up and boiled and jarred to spread on your sandwiches!”  
“Sure, but then what’s the difference between jam and jelly? Or chutney?”

“I think they’re synonyms.” 

“No, because doesn’t jam have the whole fruit, and jelly only has the juice?”

“You’re the one that asked  _ me, _ Sam!”

“Well I don’t know,” Sam said, laughing a little. “How long have we spent talking about random food, little buddy?”

“What time is it?”

“Er… Midnight, Max.”

“Then about twelve hours!”

Sam shook his head, getting up. “How have we been talking about the same thing for twelve hours?” he asked, mostly directed towards himself.

“Same way I do this!” Max said, taking his gun from…  _ somewhere _ and firing out the open window. Every few seconds, a loud noise came from outside. First a buzzer, then a man yelling, a cat yowling, the crash of trash cans falling, ricocheting across metal lamp posts-

“That’s enough of that,” Sam said, shutting the window tight. “Now, Max… What say we head home for the night?”

“Oh boy! What’re we gonna do, Sam? Slaughter a million jumping beans? Drink scorpion cider and dance to  _ La Cucaracha? _ Dress in drag AND DO THE HULA?!”

“I was thinking we order take out and watch some crappy reality TV.”

“Oh!” Max said. He jumped off the desk. “Sam, you’re a man after my own heart!”

“Careful, you’ll make me blush,” Sam replied, laughing and putting his fedora on. He grabbed a pile of menus, mixed in with the countless bills on the side table. “What kind of takeout, little buddy?”

Max gasped, staring at the other. “How can you even  _ ask _ that, Sam? You know what my answer is gonna be already!”

“Peruvian beaver?”

“Wrong!”

“Weasel on a stick?”

“Delicious but nope!” Max replied, grinning. “How about some Chinese food?”

“Little buddy, that’s the best idea you’ve had all day.”

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly this just came out as a stream of consciousness so... Rip?


End file.
